Monday, October 11, 2010

Yep, I'm Gay

So how do you celebrate National Coming Out Day when you're already (fairly loudly) out?

Correct Heterosexist Strangers.

A heterosexist stranger is a person you don't know, and have absolutely no connection to, who makes a comment in regards to your presumed hetero significant other, or your presumed heterosexuality in general.

I know, it's so easy to shrug off these people. What does it matter if this total stranger knows whether I'm queer or not? In fact, just this last week I let a cab driver think Jill and I were roommates (the really annoying thing is, he's the same cab driver we had a few months ago, and I had already come out to him during that ride when he made the same roommate assumption. How many times, guy?!?!?!??!).

The thing is, it might not make a difference for you, but it will for queer folks in that stranger's life. Just a simple statement of, actually, I'm gay or actually, my girlfriend picked this engagement ring out for me, not my boyfriend, and they might get flustered. Or embarrassed. Let them. Allow them to get as uncomfortable as they need. The more awkward the situation is, the less likely they are to assume these things in the future. And the more likely they are to not be as caught off guard when their son or niece or friend comes out to them.

Because really that's what coming out is all about. Visibility, not necessarily for ourselves, but for other people. We can help this situation we have in this world where queer kids are killing themselves due to abuse or being outed. Every single mind changed or even tilted a lil' counts. Out yourself to a stranger today.

And my straighties-stop assuming everybody is straight!


Saturday, September 4, 2010

A Certain Scene From The Wire


Author's Note: If you haven't watched The Wire yet, PLEASE stop reading this, because I talk about one of my favorite reveals of the whole show, as well as other random spoilers. So go out, rent it, buy it, watch it illegally online. But don't read this!

There are so many wonderful gay things in The Wire to talk about, and the gay guy from the picture above is probably most people's favorite, but the one that absolutely blew my socks off was a simple three second part of a scene.

During season three, whenever hated Deputy Commissioner of Operations Bill Rawls came on the screen, I was pretty much always overrun with annoyance and anger. I despised him and his desire to juke the stats. He filled me with a fire in season two when he didn't want to take on the bodies of the girls from the docks. I felt nauseous when he was commissioner for a bit in the late stages of the show.

I hated him in every. single. scene. In all five seasons.

Except one.

It's a pretty hilarious scene where Brother's right hand homophobic man goes into a black gay bar to try and track down Omar (the gay badass from the picture above), and when he can't find him, he ends up just threatening the gay guys who approach him. Good stuff. But in typical The Wire-Fashion, while we are laughing about this homophobe, at the end of the scene a few people move out of the way and BAM! There is Rawls sitting there, laughing and drinking. WHAT?!?!?! Jill and I screamed when it happened, and couldn't even contain ourselves.

But what makes The Wire so effing unbelievably good is that Rawls being gay is never mentioned again. There's a scene where a cop is in the bathroom and sees some graffiti on the wall that says "Rawls is a cocksucker," but of course this is not about him being gay, just about him being a dick. And maybe a little inside joke to the audience since we know the truth. But other than this, there is not a peep about it for the remainder of the show. Genius.

Now of course I don't love people being in the closet, but I do love the realistic portrayal of what closeted gay people in these positions of (traditionally masculine) power are like. Extremely homophobic to make up for their secret gayness, not to mention that probably most of the time it doesn't come out. Nobody ever knows, or even has the slightest idea.

This is also probably part of the reason why Omar's character is so good. Because he does have such a "masculine" role of killing and being a loner and wearing bulletproof vests constantly. Yet he is SO out, because it doesn't matter. It doesn't change how scary he is. Nobody on the streets is any less terrified of Omar because he sucks cock. Sure, they mention it all the time when talking about him, but it doesn't change how they view his strength. Awesome. I would swoon over him, if I wasn't so busy shouting, "Omar Comin'!"

Monday, May 17, 2010

Bull Daggers the Secret of Dyke Mountain

Brokeback Mountain? The Children's Hour? High Art? Hell no! The gayest movie I've ever seen? That's right folks, it's the Anna Chlumsky, Christina Ricci family film, Gold Diggers the Secret of Bear Mountain.

For those who haven't had the pleasure, Ricci's character moves to the country from the city and encounters a kick-ass outcast tomboy, Chlumsky. Tween lesbian subtext ensues. They even idolize a woman from back in the gold rush days who passed as a man. We're talking gay gay gay, people.

I took a Queer Identity class in college, and our final project was to take a text that wasn't explicitly gay and show the gay subtext in it. I was thinking of doing Full House (I mean, hello love triangle. Danny/Joey/Jesse 4 lyfe), but then one night Gold Diggers came on abc family. Within the first few minutes of the movie I not only knew it was what I'd do my project on, but I totally remembered watching it as a kid and being in looooove with the two main girls, all the while knowing in the back of my mind "something" was up.

Watching it now, I wonder how conservative parents let this one fly over their heads. I almost felt like I was cheating using it for my project. There was no subtext ... everything was just totally and blatantly queer. I'm sure latent and repressed lesbian teens and preteens were subconsciously drooling over the whole thing. Not to downplay the importance of female friendships during youth, I know some can feel almost as hot and heavy as a romance, but this shit was just ridiculous. Chlumsky's (yeah, I just like typing that name) slow motion/taking Ricci's breath away introduction at the beginning. Her weird/awkward dance for Ricci on the boat. Their constant teasing of each other. Some of Ricci's reactions shots alone make you feel like you're watching some Miley Cyrus-falling-in-love-with-a-cowboy movie. Both actresses were about 15 when this movie came out, which really makes me wonder if they were somewhat aware of the subtext, and played it up a little.

I mean, we've all seen But I'm a Cheerleader. But nothing. NOTHING is as lesbotastic as this scene (watch from 5:00-8:30).

Especially the end when Ricci tries to make her lova jealous about the boys trying to flirt with her (notice how she literally denied their meat). OH . my . god, people.

I'm happy this type of movie existed when we were kids, because I'm not sure if it would these days. The idea of it having lesbian subtext would show up on a blog, get spread around, and it would be all over. While it's nice having ACTUAL lesbian love stories in movies and on TV, I miss those days when things were able to fly under the radar. Perhaps one day in the future we will again have a major family film, where two tween girls have major crushes on each other, for our youth to watch and realize that ...

Those feelings?

They're normal, guys.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Gay Pimpin' With Jonny McGovern

There is nothing gayer. and nothing more amazing than the gay gay gay podcast, Gay Pimpin' With Jonny McGovern (and friends). Many years ago, a Mr. Keith White showed me the videos for "Soccer Practice" and "Lookin Cute, Feelin Cute" by some guy called the Gay Pimp. Needless to say, I was intrigued. Afterwards, I googled him and found a website promoting different theater projects. There must have been some sort of news update sign-up that I did, because about a year later I got an email saying he had started a podcast. I hadn't tried podcasts yet, but I was in college, the time for experimentation. I was not disappointed.

Gay Pimpin' is basically two hours of gay sex stories, gay clubbin' anecdotes, celebrity news with a gay twist, and many fish out of water tales (like when the gay pimp crew went to Six Flags). In other words, heaven on earth for me. There's nothing better than sitting on the T next to some oldie reading Ann Coulter while your headphones are blasting a discussion about how to fuck a straight guy or the usage of enemas before sex.

But my love of this podcast is not just for the dirtiest dirtiness and hilarious gay shit they put on. I also have found a second soul-mate in Transgendered Superstar, Miss Linda James. Linda is constantly referencing things I thought only I referenced, such as deep deep allusions to Full House (she sang "the dad song" one episode).

They also have a true love for two things I adore: Golden Girls and Paris is Burning (there will be a post about the latter at some point soon). Basically, it's like listening to versions of myself talk for two hours who live much gayer and more action packed lives than I do. Check it out, seriously. You will not regret it, even you straighties out there!

I'll leave you with a song for the ladies, and a dirty/hott song.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


In honor of the half blood prince coming out (lolz) in theaters, I of course had to do a post on HP.

In a typical Kathy manner, I always assumed the majority of the characters in Harry Potter were gay. Hermione, because she's hott. Ron fo sho in a Samwise way. Mcgonagall is obv a dyke. Draco with his girly blonde locks. James and Sirius...psh... Wormtail and his blind devotion... bunch of fags and dykes all up in this British piece.

Then JK Rowling outed Dumbledore at a reading, and I was SO MAD at myself. How did I not notice the signs?!?! The seventh book was full of love letters between him and Grindelwald. I mean what else could possibly steer someone like Dumbledore in the wrong direction OTHER than infatuation and love? What kinda slashy gay am I to not pick up on these not so subtle book 7 hints?

Anyway, of course after the outing the anger began. I'm sure there were anti-hp people who were even MORE upset about the books being the antichrist, but mostly I saw real big harry potter fans getting angry. and what was the reason? this ruins Dumbledore and Harry's relationship! seriously. you really think Dumbledore was pining away for Harry, checking out how his wand looked tucked away in those robes? the reason why he was afraid to look him in the eye in book 5 was obviously not because of Voldemort, but because he might no longer be able to control himself. oh Harry, let me reach across my desk and grab that messy emo hair of yours. let our glasses hit each others as we kiss passionately. seriously? at this point we're still assuming gay men automatically wanna do it with young boys? were these people also waiting for Trelawney to seduce Seamus? and for Nearly Headless Nick to ensnare Luna Lovegood? you know why they call him nearly headless... but I digress. this has become more of a rant than a rave.

point is, I am soooo glad JK revealed dumbledore was gay. I don't care that she didn't explicitly write it in the books. and I don't care about her motivations for why she decided to answer the girl's question in that way. all I care is FUCK YEAH FAGGOTS IN HARRY POTTER.

Monday, June 15, 2009

That Scene From Mona Lisa Smile

If you've seen the movie, you know exactly what I'm talking about.  Quite possibly the gayest scene ever to be shown on the silver screen.  The movie itself is pretty god-awful from what I can remember, but it was completely worth the money I spent to see it in the theatre JUST to see this scene.  You always know Maggie Gyllenhaal is gonna bring the gay.

The scene is at 4:40 of this clip.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Faith & Buffy

"Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and horny?"

Oh yes it is, Faith.  Oh yes it is.

The object of much of my adolescent fantasies, these two slayers oozed sexual tension out of the small screen, and poured on plenty of double entendres and gaygaygay symbolism to make me beg for more.  Sure, I was a freshman in high school barely aware of my own sexuality when Faith came onto Buffy (lol), but I totally knew they were gay and I also totally knew that I loved it.  

Played by the hottest thing to ever come out of Watertown, MA, Eliza Dushku has said that she immediately noticed the sexual connection between her character and Buffy, and she played it up.  Glad to know I wasn't reading into it all those years ago.  

Of course, being a "slayer" was always a symbol on Buffy for being different in real life.  And since, especially for teens, one of the most obvious ways of being different is to be gay, Joss throws in quite a few subtle and not so subtle connections between slayerdom and gaydom.  After Buffy's mom accepts her being a slayer, she talks about marching in a slayer pride parade.  When she first finds out about Buffy being the slayer, her mom worries it was b/c she didn't have a strong father figure, and asks Buffy if she "tried not being a slayer," all things said by upset parents to their coming out gay teens.  So when we have two slayers, it's not surprising that all this gayness can be implied.

But back to the hottness.  From the moment Faith comes into the series, the fight scenes with her and Buffy (whether fighting together or against each other) are full of grunts, moans, pole-ish things sticking into holes, and lots of spoken sexual innuendo.  One of my faves being from the two-parter where they switch bodies (don't get me started on Faith enjoying being inside of Buffy) in season four, where Buffy reminds Faith that the last time they fought, Faith ended up in a coma, and Faith says "let's have another go at it... see who lands on top..."  WHAT.  Be still my sophomore year heart.

It's also the way that Faith says all these lines so seductively.  And the looks.  Ooooohhh, the looks she gives to Buffy.  The sly, tongue-peaking-out-one-eyebrow-up come hither stare.  And, of course, how for one episode Buffy gave into it (mmmm, Bad Girls).  In this episode, my fantasy, complete with hott fight scenes, sexy girl on girl dancing and even Faith drawing a heart on a window to get Buffy's attention while she's in class (granted, she then drew a stake through that heart... but it was obvious what it was implying, right?  right?!?!)  was able to come true for about 30 minutes .

But probably my fave Buffy/Faith moment was from season three, when Faith had Buffy chained up (!!!!) and was getting ready to torture her (what the picture is from).  And then the fab ending, where Buffy and Faith have knives at each others throats, and Faith kisses Buffy's forehead before booking it.  


Now tell me that is not hott, you damned straighties.