Yep, I'm Gay

So how do you celebrate National Coming Out Day when you're already (fairly loudly) out?

Correct Heterosexist Strangers.

A heterosexist stranger is a person you don't know, and have absolutely no connection to, who makes a comment in regards to your presumed hetero significant other, or your presumed heterosexuality in general.

I know, it's so easy to shrug off these people. What does it matter if this total stranger knows whether I'm queer or not? In fact, just this last week I let a cab driver think Jill and I were roommates (the really annoying thing is, he's the same cab driver we had a few months ago, and I had already come out to him during that ride when he made the same roommate assumption. How many times, guy?!?!?!??!).

The thing is, it might not make a difference for you, but it will for queer folks in that stranger's life. Just a simple statement of, actually, I'm gay or actually, my girlfriend picked this engagement ring out for me, not my boyfriend, and they might get flustered. Or embarrassed. Let them. Allow them to get as uncomfortable as they need. The more awkward the situation is, the less likely they are to assume these things in the future. And the more likely they are to not be as caught off guard when their son or niece or friend comes out to them.

Because really that's what coming out is all about. Visibility, not necessarily for ourselves, but for other people. We can help this situation we have in this world where queer kids are killing themselves due to abuse or being outed. Every single mind changed or even tilted a lil' counts. Out yourself to a stranger today.

And my straighties-stop assuming everybody is straight!

<3

A Certain Scene From The Wire

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Bull Daggers the Secret of Dyke Mountain

Brokeback Mountain? The Children's Hour? High Art? Hell no! The gayest movie I've ever seen? That's right folks, it's the Anna Chlumsky, Christina Ricci family film, Gold Diggers the Secret of Bear Mountain.

For those who haven't had the pleasure, Ricci's character moves to the country from the city and encounters a kick-ass outcast tomboy, Chlumsky. Tween lesbian subtext ensues. They even idolize a woman from back in the gold rush days who passed as a man. We're talking gay gay gay, people.

I took a Queer Identity class in college, and our final project was to take a text that wasn't explicitly gay and show the gay subtext in it. I was thinking of doing Full House (I mean, hello love triangle. Danny/Joey/Jesse 4 lyfe), but then one night Gold Diggers came on abc family. Within the first few minutes of the movie I not only knew it was what I'd do my project on, but I totally remembered watching it as a kid and being in looooove with the two main girls, all the while knowing in the back of my mind "something" was up.

Watching it now, I wonder how conservative parents let this one fly over their heads. I almost felt like I was cheating using it for my project. There was no subtext ... everything was just totally and blatantly queer. I'm sure latent and repressed lesbian teens and preteens were subconsciously drooling over the whole thing. Not to downplay the importance of female friendships during youth, I know some can feel almost as hot and heavy as a romance, but this shit was just ridiculous. Chlumsky's (yeah, I just like typing that name) slow motion/taking Ricci's breath away introduction at the beginning. Her weird/awkward dance for Ricci on the boat. Their constant teasing of each other. Some of Ricci's reactions shots alone make you feel like you're watching some Miley Cyrus-falling-in-love-with-a-cowboy movie. Both actresses were about 15 when this movie came out, which really makes me wonder if they were somewhat aware of the subtext, and played it up a little.

I mean, we've all seen But I'm a Cheerleader. But nothing. NOTHING is as lesbotastic as this scene (watch from 5:00-8:30).



Especially the end when Ricci tries to make her lova jealous about the boys trying to flirt with her (notice how she literally denied their meat). OH . my . god, people.

I'm happy this type of movie existed when we were kids, because I'm not sure if it would these days. The idea of it having lesbian subtext would show up on a blog, get spread around, and it would be all over. While it's nice having ACTUAL lesbian love stories in movies and on TV, I miss those days when things were able to fly under the radar. Perhaps one day in the future we will again have a major family film, where two tween girls have major crushes on each other, for our youth to watch and realize that ...

Those feelings?

They're normal, guys.